The sound in my room is deafening. The holidays seem to pass by quickly. And I must say, the pillow is doing its job the best way it could possibly get - be huggable for the rest of the night.
The past few months have been a fun ride - bumpy yet amazing. The roads let me to new places that gave me an idea to start a new beginning. And that, I think, keeps me sane.
There were sleepless nights. There were fun nights. And there were “blank” nights - in a sense that you’re already sleepy, and you’re not thinking of anything at all, and you end up sleepless. Dilemma.
Days are going by so fast. I was surprised it’s almost May. And yes, it’s already summer. I love the way we are living in a fast phase setting right now. But there are moments that I wish time would fly really slow.. Like when I’m with the person that makes me smile & laugh or when I’m eating a toblerone and I only have 2 chips of triangle left. Dilemma.
I’ve been caught up with things lately, especially with my decision making. And it sucks; I don’t even know how to start. I don’t even know the things that I have to consider.. Dilemma.
With the weather being perfect and beautiful, and the morning being solemn, and my mind being clear from all the stress - it got me thinking - should I gamble and follow my heart or should I just guard myself and be cautious? Dilemma.
It took me a while before writing about my 2nd day in South Korea. I was overwhelmed with how the people I met there tried to really connect with me after I got back. They made my stay in Seoul remarkable.
So how was my 2nd day in Korea? Here goes..
It was a good morning for me. Aside from the fact that it’s his birthday, I got to adapt the coldness of what the winter/spring season could give. It was a beautiful morning actually. I discovered my fave spot in his apartment - just by the window. The view is superb that morning.. And I got glued on that corner for quite some time. He was all ready to leave for work, I didn’t even manage to stand up and walk him to the elevator. I realized I should’ve, few minutes after he left.
I really like his apartment. It’s really cozy and I had the feeling of warmth on the very first time I went in.
I spent the morning on his bed, until brunch time. Had a shower. And prepared for a “lunch” walk around his community.
Seoul is a very nice place. Despite the language barrier, you wouldn’t worry on getting lost or what. It’s tourist friendly. And it’s safe - one of the reasons why I love the place.
I went to Gangnam and Itaewon that day. I’m really glad I got to see these places. I got to commute via public transportation alone. And it’s a huge accomplishment for me. From his apartment, I got to Gangnam station, safe & sound. What a relief!
Meeting his friends is the best part of my stay. They’re really nice people. Even his friends’ girlfriends. They’re the sweetest.
It was a fun night. And I wouldn’t exchange it for the world.
I was pretty much excited about this trip. Who’s not excited with SK?!
I really don’t want to cram, so I got to the airport 4 and a half hours until my flight. I almost forgot my passport, mind you.
I got to meet a Filipina, who was also bound to SoKorea. And it’s funny because she’s also from Calamba, and we have like common friends on Facebook. So we decided to check in together and have the privilege to have a nice chit chat with while on the plane. Wuhoo! I’m not flying alone.
We met another Filipino, the one seated on her right. He’s an art director. And he loves photography. He considered it as his hobby. He’s been to Europe, around Asia and around the Philippines. We got to see his photos and they were surreal.
As we landed at Incheon International Airport, we were very curious how cold would it be outside. And it was f*cking cold.
Had an adventure on my way to baby’s apartment. He didn’t get to meet me; he couldn’t skip work. There’s a language barrier between me and most of the Koreans. When I went to buy some T-card at the airport & told me they’re out of stock, they had a hard time telling me to go to GS26 (Ugh, I’m not sure if I got it correctly). When I went on the bus, the driver was talking to me in Korean. And I was dumbfounded. When I went to 7 11 at his building and asked the old lady where the entrance of the building was and I had to point the door of 7 11 for the word “entrance”, she had to go outside to really show it to me. I heard some Koreans speak in English. But not most of them. Unlike in the Philippines, even kids from the streets, 4 to 5 years old, understand and speak the language. And that, I think, makes my country a tourist friendly place to visit.
Public transportation in Seoul is one of the best I’ve seen so far - very disciplined and organized. And it’s cheap.
Life has taught me things that aren’t taught in school. For almost 28 years of existence, I’ve been through a lot. Who haven’t?
They said life begins at 40. But as time passes by, life’s beginning keeps on starting earlier than the usual. We are told to take it easy while we’re on our 20s. But being observant and keen the past years I’ve been, it seems like a lot have struggled during their 20s - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I, for one, suffered. And because of that, I guarded myself and built tall walls.
But we can’t deny the fact that someday, some things will change. Those walls stood tall but at some point in my life, I opened the door. I let it in. I wasn’t even thinking. I couldn’t help it. It’s too likeable to not let it through. And then, I start to care..
It’s always been balanced - ying & yang, up & down, left & right, black & white. When you get hurt, you fall. But eventually, you get up. And sometimes, somebody is there to help you stand up. Luckily, for me, it’s been a fun journey getting up. It feels like ecstasy; it’s something new. And I start to care..
This maybe something that happens everyday, but for me, it’s something rare. Why? Because I’m starting to care again..
..woke up at 3am and felt like peeing, but you’re too sleepy to leave the bed? You have no choice. Leave the bed then pee.
..worked so hard but it didn’t actually pay off?
..hit your head with your phone while lying down because it slipped off your hand and fell flat on your face? It happened to me. A lot of times.
..ran out of fuel along a neverending road? I haven’t. And you suck if that already happened to you.
..read a book and got disappointed when they made it into the big screen?
..been so lazy?
..miss someone so much you couldn’t even focus on the things you do? You couldn’t even move forward on the jobs that you just have to do. You have some sleepless nights that you’re not even aware of the reason. You’re not even insomniac! And whenever that person comes into your mind, everything freezes. Everything stops, even time. Impossible, I know. But it does. It can even let you stay in your bed for hours and be unproductive for the rest of the day. What a shame.
For 3 weeks, I haven’t had any decent sleep. And yes, it’s already been 3 weeks ever since..
I have to admit, I think I’m facing my quarter life crisis right now - choices vary, from left to right. The hard part? Deciding on which to pick among “these” choices.
Thoughts on simple things:
When you are to choose among apple, orange and banana, what would you choose? If you are to choose among cake, sundae, pie or crepe, which would you choose? (I’d choose sundae by the way.) 3 to 4 to more than 4 choices? Hard to decide.
Same goes with life. Decision making is harder, when you are faced with too many choices. If you are given with just 2, it’s easier to weigh the pros and cons. But if you are served with a menu of “must-do-with-life-for-future-purposes”, you get stuck with it. And it’s not really that simple. Especially if your heart is involve in the process.
Suitor: I love her more than anything and anyone in this world. I love her more than my life. I’ll give everything for her. I’ll never make her cry. I love her so much that I’ll die for her. I’ll love her forever.