Life has taught me things that aren’t taught in school. For almost 28 years of existence, I’ve been through a lot. Who haven’t?
They said life begins at 40. But as time passes by, life’s beginning keeps on starting earlier than the usual. We are told to take it easy while we’re on our 20s. But being observant and keen the past years I’ve been, it seems like a lot have struggled during their 20s - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I, for one, suffered. And because of that, I guarded myself and built tall walls.
But we can’t deny the fact that someday, some things will change. Those walls stood tall but at some point in my life, I opened the door. I let it in. I wasn’t even thinking. I couldn’t help it. It’s too likeable to not let it through. And then, I start to care..
It’s always been balanced - ying & yang, up & down, left & right, black & white. When you get hurt, you fall. But eventually, you get up. And sometimes, somebody is there to help you stand up. Luckily, for me, it’s been a fun journey getting up. It feels like ecstasy; it’s something new. And I start to care..
This maybe something that happens everyday, but for me, it’s something rare. Why? Because I’m starting to care again..
..woke up at 3am and felt like peeing, but you’re too sleepy to leave the bed? You have no choice. Leave the bed then pee.
..worked so hard but it didn’t actually pay off?
..hit your head with your phone while lying down because it slipped off your hand and fell flat on your face? It happened to me. A lot of times.
..ran out of fuel along a neverending road? I haven’t. And you suck if that already happened to you.
..read a book and got disappointed when they made it into the big screen?
..been so lazy?
..miss someone so much you couldn’t even focus on the things you do? You couldn’t even move forward on the jobs that you just have to do. You have some sleepless nights that you’re not even aware of the reason. You’re not even insomniac! And whenever that person comes into your mind, everything freezes. Everything stops, even time. Impossible, I know. But it does. It can even let you stay in your bed for hours and be unproductive for the rest of the day. What a shame.
For 3 weeks, I haven’t had any decent sleep. And yes, it’s already been 3 weeks ever since..
I have to admit, I think I’m facing my quarter life crisis right now - choices vary, from left to right. The hard part? Deciding on which to pick among “these” choices.
Thoughts on simple things:
When you are to choose among apple, orange and banana, what would you choose? If you are to choose among cake, sundae, pie or crepe, which would you choose? (I’d choose sundae by the way.) 3 to 4 to more than 4 choices? Hard to decide.
Same goes with life. Decision making is harder, when you are faced with too many choices. If you are given with just 2, it’s easier to weigh the pros and cons. But if you are served with a menu of “must-do-with-life-for-future-purposes”, you get stuck with it. And it’s not really that simple. Especially if your heart is involve in the process.
Suitor: I love her more than anything and anyone in this world. I love her more than my life. I’ll give everything for her. I’ll never make her cry. I love her so much that I’ll die for her. I’ll love her forever.